Chasing a Dream Job? Why Not a ✨Dream Life✨?

Balancing work and life so creative expression and personal fulfillment come first.

A magazine collage I made, inspired by a dear friend.

Welcome (or welcome back!) to Multifaceted, a weekly newsletter about finding delight and direction in a creative life made up of many different interests. 

Society has a noisy way of urging creative people to pursue fantasy jobs where all of our talents and passions converge. We’re supposed to channel all of our creative energy into the workplace or the economy somehow. 

The implication is that, if we don’t validate our passions with employment, our creative contributions aren’t worth much. 

And, by extension, neither are we.

When we were little, the question was: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

When we reached adulthood, it became: “What’s your dream job?”

First, people assume we’ll have a clear and interesting answer. Next, they assume a lot about us based on that answer.

But do you really have a dream job that sums up everything about you? 

I don’t. 

I have a dream lifestyle instead.

Of course, that lifestyle needs to be paid for somehow. And I like being able to do interesting work that provides some creative and intellectual stimulation. 

But I don't expect work to conveniently fulfill all of my hopes, dreams, and desires. That’s asking way too much. 

Work exists so I have the means to pursue those aspirations on my own time.

When I was a teenager, my dream job was Fashion Magazine Editor With Clickly Heels, as seen on TV. The Devil Wears Prada was a big deal for me back in 2006. (“Emily!”) 

I never saw 13 Going on 30 until I hit 30, but watching Jennifer Garner pitch moodboards and run photoshoots in one twirly skirt after another brought that vulnerable, yearning feeling right back.

Magazine editor was an ideal job that offered everything: Style. Smarts. City life. Writing, designing, and other creative adventures. Plus racks of free designer clothes! At the time, that’s how I wanted to live. 

During my freshman year of high school, I even did a career report on my glamorous dream gig. The cherry on top was doing a phone interview with an editor at Vogue. She had the thickest New York accent I’ve ever heard. (Still true even now that I’ve spent a few years there!) The real deal.

But, as I’ve discovered, pinning all of our hopes and dreams on work-related ideals is a recipe for disappointment. 

The reality is, our creativity can be stifled by gatekeepers. Or we get stuck working gigs that are only tangentially related to our interests. 

Or worse, we land what we thought was the dream job, only to realize it’s not at all as expected – and maybe we’re stuck with colleagues who make life miserable. (I’ve been fortunate enough to avoid this fate. A few fellow creatives, not so much.)

What about setting off on our own? It sounds dreamy until we’re up late at night doing data entry, bookkeeping, admin, social media marketing, sales, and all the other stuff we didn’t want to do as someone else’s employee.

Some people do find a perfect fit, of course. But when it comes to gigs and careers, so many variables are out of our control that it simply doesn’t make sense to expect work to fulfill our life goals.

Let’s instead shift our focus to what we can control: how we live.

You probably have some idea of what you need and want in life. Well, what sort of budget does your ideal lifestyle require? How much does it cost to keep up with your creative hobbies and passions?

Once you have your desired lifestyle figured out, you’re free to stop chasing fictional dream jobs. Instead, you can seek out real-life jobs that allow you to meet your real-life goals. 

These are called “good-enough jobs.”

They may not relate to all of your creative passions, but they’re relevant and interesting enough. And they provide enough financial stability for you to explore those passions elsewhere.

(I first came across the idea of the “good enough job” in Barbara Sher’s Refuse to Choose. As it turns out, another book called The Good Enough Job: Reclaiming Life from Work by Simone Stolzoff just came out last year. It might be worth a read.)

Embracing the “good enough job” can lead to a “better than your wildest dreams life” – one where creative expression and personal fulfillment come first. 

It's about designing a life where work serves as a means to an end, not an end itself. 

With that in mind, I think we can do better than those tired old questions: “What’s your dream job?” or “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

From now on, let’s start asking ourselves and others: “How do you want to live?”

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