Welcome (or welcome back!) to Multifaceted. I’m Jess Barker, here exploring what it means to find direction and fulfillment in a multi-passionate creative life. ✨
I haven't been in the mood to write recently. Or do much of anything creative.
Unless you count clothes shopping for my toddler, summer party-planning, choosing house paint colors, getting obsessed with making restaurant-quality dinners…
Okay, sure, they're all technically creative in one way or another. But they have nothing to do with the long-term projects I have on my plate right now. The meaty, meaningful ones I'm in the messy-middle with, where things feel less sparkly and more struggle-y. Those are the projects I haven't been investing much creative energy in.
And that's okay. Stepping away, taking a break – it's okay.
I usually feel like taking a break because of one of these scenarios – maybe you can spot the differences:
1.
Sometimes I want to keep going on a project, but I know I'll be better off giving my brain a break.
Like recently, I've been tossing around some big ideas with the book I'm writing – evolving the structure, taking in feedback from other writers. It's a lot to process.
But if I let all that simmer in my subconscious for a while, all the loose ingredients will have cooked up into something I can actually work with when I jump back in.
2.
Sometimes I go off projects for a while because I get bored. This usually happens after I've finally worked out the big thing I wanted to work out. I've solved the exciting problem, made the big shiny discovery. And then there's no more chemistry. So, the project can feel kind of flat and even pointless.
In cases like that, it helps when I can step away and get some distance. Before long, I'll start musing on new ideas for where to take that project next. That's when I know it's time to return.
3.
Sometimes, though, I'm just flopping around under the cozy blanket of resistance. I don't feel like it, I say to myself. I'm totally FINE letting my creative commitments slip… Those are just silly goals I made up anyway. And so I sit there, absorbing the empty calories of digital consumption while my creative brain cells ooze out onto the couch cushions. That's when I know I'm in trouble.
It doesn't really matter to anyone but me whether I pause a project or press on with it. But it does matter to me, despite what that voice of resistance might say.
So, if ever I slow to a stop, I make sure I'm being intentional about it. I ask:
If I put this project off for another week, will that make me feel better or worse?
Letting resistance get in the way feels decidedly worse. Worse because I didn't show up for myself. Worse because I'm digging deeper into a procrastination habit that'll be hard to break. Worse also because that voice of resistance only gets louder – What's the point, anyway? I'll never be as good as so-and-so; I'll never amount to anything… And just like that, I'm one foot in an existential crisis.
The only antidote I know of is to dig out my little cork-capped vial of Discipline and grumble my way into applying Bum To Chair until I'm actively creating again.
Then, 10 times out of 10, I'll feel better.
If your heart isn't sufficiently in a project at a given point in time, then delaying work on it can be a good thing. I've shelved projects for six months or even a year because I wanted to attack the project with freshness and energy rather than slog through it with half-hearted commitment.
so good! thanks for being real. I have felt ALL of these things before. Remember I shared that I have been putting off my book since last August? Well, I joined a mother's writing club with ladies I connected with through Substack and our first meeting was thoroughly refreshing! I'm hopeful that some accountability and a good measure of commiserating together over our percolating projects will help me find the insight and excitement again 🥰